Islam Under Scrutiny by Ex-Muslims

Mohammad Atta Enters the Pearly Gates

He had no idea of how much time had elapsed since he had crashed that plane into the World Trade Center. It might have been minutes; it might have been years. He had been floating in a musk-scented cloud of ecstasy for so long he had become disoriented. From time to time he would shout “Allahu akbar,” and a renewed surge of elation would sweep over him. Oh, how well he had done the Master’s work! How well!

Then, suddenly, there was a break in the clouds, and, lo and behold, sweeping toward him at a great rate of speed were the pearly gates! “Allahu akbar!” They were so wondrous they took his breath away. Could this be it? Could this be Paradise?

Off to the right, a pestilential wind was howling across a barren landscape. Billowing clouds of black smoke could be seen in the distance. He could hear people screaming. Such despairing and excruciating cries of pain and anguish and terror, he had never heard before. Christians and Jews, he thought. If he had not been such a good Muslim he might have winced.

And then, there he was, standing right in front of the Pearly Gates—the entrance to Paradise. A man in a German Army uniform barred the way. His left eye was missing—shot away, no doubt, in one of the many Germanic wars. His right hand and his right forearm were missing, and all that remained of his left hand was a thumb and two fingers.

Ah, thought Mohammed—Reinhard Heydrich, assassinated by Check guerillas in 1942. But Heydrich was not a Muslim. Perhaps he was being rewarded for killing all those Jews during the War. It would be just like the ever-merciful Allah to make him the Gatekeeper to Paradise.

“I am Mohammed Atta,” announced Mohammed.

“We have been waiting for you,” said the Gatekeeper.

Mohammed nodded in the direction of the billowing clouds of black smoke. “I had not thought Hell would be so close to Paradise,” he said.

“Yes,” said the Gatekeeper. “Please, follow me.”

“I have no baggage,” said Mohammed.

“You will be provided with all you will ever need.”

Ah, thought Mohammed as he followed behind the former Reichsfuhrer. Allah is good. Allah is great.

He was led into a magnificent courtyard, so full of the most wondrous bubbling fountains and aromatic flower beds that once again his breath was taken away. Almost before he knew it, he was inside a low-ceilinged chamber, seated on a divan so plush he seemed to be floating on air. Rubies and emeralds were everywhere—studding the walls and covering the floor. The smell of saffron and camphor came from everything he touched. He was getting an erection. Ah, yes, he was achieving the permanent state of all true believers! He was really—truly—in Paradise!

“Are you ready for the houris?” asked the Gatekeeper.

“Yes! Yes!” cried Mohammed.

The Gatekeeper clapped his hands and there—appearing instantaneously before Mohammed—was the most ugly, the most wretched, and the most disgusting old hag Mohammed had ever laid eyes on. This time his breath was truly taken away.

“Hi, cutie,” said the hag. “I’m Nightmare Alice.”

Mohammed gasped. He grew flaccid. “What is this?” he croaked. “Some kind of a joke?”

“Would you like to see another?” asked the Gatekeeper.

“Yes! Yes!” cried Mohammed.

Again the Gatekeeper clapped his hands. Nightmare Alice faded into the ether, and Mohammed drew a sigh of relief. Praise be to Allah, that was over! But it wasn’t—it was only the beginning. As he looked up, he saw another hag leering down at him. She was more ugly, more wretched, and more disgusting than the first.



“I’m Lena the Hyena.”

 

“And I’m Gravel Gertie.”

 

Hi, sweetie,” she said. “I’m Lena the Hyena.”

“Take her away! Take her away!” cried Mohammed.

The Gatekeeper tried again and again, but he could not find a houri to suit Mohammed’s taste. There was Gravel Gertie; there was Typhoid Mary; there was Roseanne Barr. By then Mohammed Atta would have settled for Susan Sarandon.

“Perhaps you prefer boys?” suggested the Gatekeeper.

“Yes! Yes! That’s it!” cried Mohammed. And it was. Allah knew best. Mohammed liked boys better than women.

The Gatekeeper clapped his hands. Mohammed sighed. Ah, that was more like it! Two extremely nubile youths had appeared at the far end of the chamber. They were garbed in the most magnificent green silks and brocades. They had their backs to Mohammed and they were dragging a cart loaded with mouth-watering delicacies toward the divan—condiments and pastries unknown to mere mortal man. When they reached Mohammed, he placed a hand on a nubile hip. Yes, he was a man again!

“What would you like, sir?” asked the youth.

“Anything,” said Mohammed. “Anything at all.”

“Oh, we have that,” said the youth.

“And what is your name, pray tell?” asked Mohammed.

The youth turned to face Mohammed Atta. In his hands he was holding the greasiest all-pork hamburger ever grilled at Mel’s Diner. “I’m Beavis,” he snarled through the lips of his horribly scrunched face.

“And I’m Butthead,” said the other youth.

Mohammed Atta was aghast. “What is this? What is this place?” he croaked. “Tell me, Heydrich—where am I?”

 

I’m Beavis…and I’m Butthead.

 

I’m the man who tried to kill Hitler.”

 

"Oh, I’m not Heydrich,” said the Gatekeeper. “I’m Klaus von Stauffenberg—the man who tried to kill Hitler.”

“You mean…you mean…”

“Yes, you are not where you think you are…but you are where you deserve to be.”

Alas! Alas! Paradise Lost!

 

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Denis Schulz was prospective convert to Islam (read his testimony: How I Almost Became a Muslim?) before changing his mind after the 9/11. He actively writes on the threats of Islam and terrorism.


Name:    closed
Comment:

Comments Notes: Keep comments short. Our system cannot separate paragraphs. Comments must be relevant to the topic of the article. We did not regulate the comments but if irrelevant comments, materials, adds of other websites etc. are being uploaded, we will have to regulate the comments and even ban the IP addresses of such nuisance posters.


Name:
Date: Tuesday November 13, 2007
Time: 19:24:03 -0700

Comment

Muhammad in Hinduism: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJHbEWs-m_s


Name: DO MUSLIMS BELIEVE IN KAFIR HINDU BOOKS ?
Date: Tuesday November 13, 2007
Time: 23:08:59 -0700

Comment

JEW FOLLOWER MUSLIMS MAKE FALSE CLAIM THAT THEIR FAKE PROPHET IS IN KAFIR HINDU BOOKS.ITS A LIE.BCOZ IF MUSLIMS SAY THIS THEY MUST ALSO BELIEVE IN THE KAFIR BOOKS WHICH MEANS THEY BELIEVE IN BOOKS AND BELIEFS OTHER THAN KORAN WHICH MEANS THEY R NO LONGER MUSLIMS.ALL THESE MUSLIMS R HELL BOUND FOR SURE.


Name:
Date: Wednesday November 14, 2007
Time: 00:01:09 -0700

Comment

These criminals against humanity will be fried in hell for the crimes they are committing. Unfortunately they are wrongly advised that they will go to paradise.It is simple common sense that how will you go to paradise if you do harm and torture humans and animals.


Name:
Date: Wednesday November 14, 2007
Time: 00:16:50 -0700

Comment

May the prophet himself is being roasted fr all the heinous teachings he has perpetrated


Name:
Date: Wednesday November 14, 2007
Time: 01:51:53 -0700

Comment

Good! The prophet Muhamad must be in a Paradise lower than that of Mohamed Atta feasting on pig shit , wallowing in human feaces , with unbearable stench moaning "Allahu Akabar!" That is indeed islamic "Jannat"! The ultimate resting place for all true believing muslims!


Name: qwer
Date: Wednesday November 14, 2007
Time: 04:20:32 -0700

Comment

Hi moslem!! You are absolutely wrong if you think only Jews and Christian hate you. All of the world, except you, VERY HATE WITH ISLAM & YOUR MO!! We are come from Indonesia, sure not westerner nor Jews, look at you as looking the fly ... want to terminate you. TERORIST, MURDERER, VIOLENCE, CRIMINAL!! We hope Islam and Mo will burned in the hell!! WE HATE YOU MO!!


Name: kafir/infidel ( & Ex-communist ).
Date: Wednesday November 14, 2007
Time: 10:36:44 -0700

Comment

Hilarious and one cant stop laughing to his/her hearts content. ISLAM/QQURRAN/MO are all biggest hoax, savagery,cruelty,murder,rape,killing of unimaginable proportions. NO Alla/ NO MO. If at all if there is a ISLAMIC hell - i am sure the MO/ ALLA combination must be roasting in that for their wicked,cruel,hate filled ,terrorist,murderous religion ISLAM. In this comedy writing - it would have made good reading too - if MOhammaed ATTA met & saw the MO /ALLA roasting in hell fire ,helplessly for all their sins & blood curdling acts of hatred,killings.............................. One can be sure that ZAKIR NAIK the monster terrorists instigating and enticing his ISLAMIC monster followers to indulge in terrorism will be the next in line to his place in ISLAMIC hell fire along with other ISLAMIC terrorists like Aloqee padamsee,harsh mander ,Ayub khan etc and the woman terrorist Teesta setalvad.


Name: ahmad toha
Date: Thursday November 15, 2007
Time: 17:05:15 -0700

Comment

all the world hate moslems and Mohammed. They are immoral people. They think they are moralist, actually they are embaracing criminals. They say polygami is to protect women. How could it be? they cover his lust with silly reasons. Their concept about heaven is really porn.


Name:
Date: Thursday November 15, 2007
Time: 19:37:23 -0700

Comment

muslims believe in kafir qurap book, written by the most overly protected jerk ever.


Name:
Date: Thursday November 15, 2007
Time: 22:29:16 -0700

Comment

Mr. Ahmad Toha,Nobody hates muslims as human beings. It is the hate,violence,terrorism etc. preached by them against the rest of the humanity that is being hated.


Name:
Date: Sunday November 18, 2007
Time: 16:38:33 -0700

Comment

how hilarious... but what do yoy expect from a bunch of peadophile worshipping inbred retards. jews, christians, hindus and sikhs all hate muslims. why is that i wonder.


Name:
Date: Thursday November 22, 2007
Time: 14:04:52 -0700

Comment

Rosanne Barr......Great!


Name: James Bond
Date: Thursday January 10, 2008
Time: 19:26:56 -0700

Comment

This incoherent ramble is totally gay. Was it suppose to be funny? Even more painful than trying to read the Koran.


 
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