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“Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows falling astray, none can guide them aright. The Holy Koran is the very words of our Lord and Creator, which have been revealed for our guidance”. – The Noble Koran

When Allah speaks – all are commanded to hear Him!

This article is complied as mockery of Allah’s verbal orders via Angel Jibraiel. Although, it is a bit of fun, but, in a nutshell, it tells us everything about Allah, Islam and the rules and conquests of Prophet Mohammad.

The Koran is a book of Holy Orders by Allah to the ways of Life of being a Muslim. Prophet Mohammad delivered these Islamic Ten Commandments being commanded by Allah and is proposed to all of Mankind. These commandments are decreed below:

  1. I am Allah and you shalt have No other Gods before Me AND Do not draw my picture or We will kill you!
  2. Thou shalt not worship any carved images, and if you do, We will blow them up and destroy them!
  3. You shalt not take the name of thy Allah in vain, but only under the penalty of death or if being persecuted by an Infidel!
  4. In addition, consider every Friday thy most holy day, take thy whole month and call it most holy, and to pray five times a day in prostration and force all infidels to adjust and be inconvenienced. Thou shalt feel free to wash your feet, hands and face in the sinks of public restrooms!
  5. Honor your father and thy mother, but only if they are Muslims, and kill by striking their heads off if they choose any other religion than Islam, for such is honor killing in the cause of Allah subhan-e-talla!
  6. Thou shalt not kill other fellow Muslims, unless they happen to be in the way of Jihad in My name. Thou shalt kill all infidels/unbelievers, for they are the spawn of dogs and pigs, especially the murtidhs!
  7. Thou shalt not commit adultery if you are a Muslim woman and if you do, then you will be buried in the ground up to your neck and stoned to death. For a Muslim man, can have more than one wife and marry and have sex with children and his many slaves
  8. Thou shalt not steal from fellow Muslims. But, you can do anything you
    want to Infidels/unbelievers, for they are not worthy of respect of Allah and His Prophet!
  9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against your Muslim neighbor, unless it furthers the cause of Islam. For all lies are permitted which favors Islam and thou shalt say anything you desire about infidels/unbelievers, for Allah bless all Muslims in Islam’s cause!
  10. Thou shalt not covet your Muslim neighbor's possessions, but it is open season on all infidels/unbelievers, for Allah cares not for them!

This is thy words of thy Lord in Heaven; Allah blesses all Muslims to fight in the cause of Islam. Believe in My Last Prophet of Prophets – Muhammad, for he is the wise, the merciful and a guidance by deeds. I have sent him as the bestest of all of Creations!