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A Pakistani Muslim wrote the following testimony to Faithfreedom.org: "It is hard to express the anguish and grief i went through all these years being Muslim. I am happy for myself that I am enlightened from inside and am no longer following a fascist ideology."


From J Z

I was born and raised in a typical Pakistani Muslim family and inherited Islam as my religion. Being a free and rebellious soul since my childhood, i did not like compulsions Islam lays on its followers. I had unanswered questions and thoughts about religion which were ‘sinful’ enough to be asked or expressed. I was told that God (allah) would punish with hell fire in the afterlife and physical disabilities in the present life on the charges of defiance. Unfortunately this could not have any impact on me maybe because I undermined the severity of prescribed penalties.

It actually began when i tricked reading Koran & memorizing Namaz (prayer) at the age of 7-9. We were told by our Islamic studies teacher in early school days that contact with opposite sex must be avoided so much so that even talking to a girl is a sin and is prohibited in Islam. I cannot say about the rest but this claim got stuck in my subconscious and played havoc with my life. Later in life I lived through many adversities coming from Islam solely aimed to restrict my personal choices and freedom. Today I feel I had enormous potential of becoming an iconic entertainer, a dancer, an actor, a thriving director/producer or a musician but the kind of social/religious setup I was brought up with always stigmatized and disapproved such extravaganza.

I considered myself a non-practicing ‘Muslim’ most of my life as it is speculated no matter how much a Muslim is disobedient, he will eventually be forgiven and sent to heaven. It was not before Taliban way of ruling and exhibiting ‘true Islam’ in Afghanistan and then the 9/11 and its aftermaths that made me skeptic of religion (Islam). At first i became a strong advocate to re-interpret Islam as it had been twisted, distorted and misused by the Muslim monarchy for centuries to safeguard their personal interests. But soon I discovered it was not going to happen since religions are of dogmatic nature and reject evolution or change of any kind in the scriptures and the way they are understood. Using my rational faculty I bombard many questions and acquisitions at Islam and did not find any satisfactory answer. Few I would love to share:

I see today’s Islam as an exploitative tool to oppress others and to gain power, wealth and authority. Islamists in my country work as a mafia developing a vile nuisance value; they openly rule out diversity, delicacy, sophistication, freedom to think & say and promote blatant insensitivity, hate, violence, myopia and fanaticism. Lacking the intellectual tools to conduct a reasoned debate on the issue of the day, Muslims clings to the rigid dogma, using threat to make a point instead of logic. For anybody who disagrees, murder is the automated default response.

It is hard to express the anguish and grief i went through all these years being Muslim. I am happy for myself that I am enlightened from inside and am no longer following a fascist ideology.

(This article is based on personal opinion and observations and is not intend to thrust those views onto others. Criticism, suggestions, improvements and corrections of any kind are welcomed!)