Islam Under Scrutiny by Ex-Muslims

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Feeling the Birth Throe

Dear Mr. Ali Sina,

Please feel free to publish this message on your webside as another personal story, the story of Windfall's transformation. I am writing to you and all kafirs to say goodbye, because I decided to permanently leave this forum. That does not mean I will not visit your website any more, not at all. I am going to come back and see what is the news, etc. So please cancel my login name “windfall” from now on.

I have been here with you (or more precisely, against you) for almost a year. And this really was the great experience and the great journey. Thank you Ali and all participants for that. You can confirm that I wholeheartedly debated and argued with you personally and all others who left Islam. I believe, I was challenging in this affair.

From my own side, I tried to answer your challenges too. I did all my best to defend Islam and beat the kafirs down. However, from the other side, I was debating on Islamist forums too. In doing this, I had only a pure idea in mind to “save” Islam from the fanatic bastards, who have been speculating with the “great” Islam. I am very tired and sick of this, and I do not want get into details of these debates with the Islamists.

But one thing I can confirm now – HOW STUPID I WAS. This beast with the name “ISLAM” cannot be saved. At one point, I returned back and read some of your (Ali Sina) posts and also answers to me. I understood that you are not a materialist and I think I am able to comprehend what you believe in. There was a Turk, Imameddin Nasimi, one of the leaders of the Hurufi movement of dervishes many centuries ago. He wrote in his poem:

Mende sighar iki djahan,
Men bu djahana sighmazam.
Haqq menem,
Bashqa haggi men bulmazam.

Two worlds can easily fit into me,
But I myself cannot even fit into this world.
I am the Truth,
There is no other truth to look for outside of me.

The sick Muslim ulemas killed this enlightened person as a Kafir. Islam followed the path of other violent religions as Christianity and Judaism. But you are 100% right. These two faiths completely transformed within the last centuries. They are no more violent and dangerous. Christians and Jews are mostly peaceful citizens of their countries who appreciated democracy and freedoms.

Ali Sina, you are really a very enlightened person. I will try to follow your way. And I am saying bye-bye to Allah. I can not express even a 10% of what I feel now. The only thing I can say about myself is that there is now another Kafir joining you, Ali. I am sorry for leaving the Forum, but I decided, as you said, “to look for Buddha in myself”. To find peace, to find a refuge for my wounded soul.

Keep doing what are you doing and sorry guys if I gave you a hard time.

Maybe one day I'll return.

Yours truly,


Dear Windfall,

Your soul is not wounded. You have broken the shell of faith and now you are born in a world of lights and understanding. It is natural to feel weak and beaten up. But that is the birth throe. Nothing to worry about! Soon you will find your strength; your fledging wings will become strong and will take you to worlds you could not have imagined before. I think you have found the truth. The truth is within you. You do not need a guru, a master or a teacher. You are the guru, the master and the teacher.

Welcome to the world of enlightenment. I do not cancel any account. You are welcome to use it in future if you like. My suggestion is do not go away. Stay around and let us help others. If all of us who break our fetters do the same, we free this world from the prison of hate and ignorance and make it a paradise literally. After all we are Humanity. We are part of one another and we are responsible for each other. We are no more Muslims but Muslims are part of us. Our job is to make them see this too. We must win them over and make the unity of mankind a reality. The alternative is too painful for everyone.

Used with permission from Faith Freedom