Islam Under Scrutiny by Ex-Muslims

Can’t have a relationship with this Muslim man, thanks to Islam-watch

An American infidel woman wrote the following email to us: 

Good morning. I have been conversing with a guy named Mohammed Akmel living in Europe through a dating website. On our third day of conversing, I found out he was a Muslim. 

I didn't know how to broach him on that subject because of the things I have read on your site. On Saturday, the opportunity arose and I took it. I personally do not have a religion which I follow, though that doesn't mean I don't believe in something. I told him that his religion scares me and he wanted to know what it was about his religion that scared me. I told him because of the "if you don't convert, you will die and wife beatings." I told him about your site. 

He couldn't believe that such a site exists and decided to counter with "put Christian there" and I told him that I've already read those sites as well. He then went on to tell me about how he knew of three women being beat up by so-called Christian men. I didn't deny that one bite. He tried to explain the wife-beating by saying that it's only meant like admonishing a child. I counter with what I had read from your site (but did not tell him that) about the girl from Canada. 

When I want to learn about a religion, I don't go to the sites that are for it. I go to the sites that say why people have left. If the same things are being said over and over and over again, then something is wrong. 

I asked him if he had a wife with no religion, how the children would be raised. He said his religion, because "they don't know any better." He has kept pushing a relationship and even has names for children already. I know, deep down, as much as we seemingly get along, I cannot have a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of relationship with him. 

And he's religious enough to be praying 5 times a day with the ritual washings and a shadow of a beard on his face. He did try to counter with "why are so many western women rushing to marry Muslim men?" I told him about a man in Denmark, from the UAE but living and working there that had a western wife and they are now divorced. I also told him about a woman I knew and worked with that met, married, and now divorced her Muslim husband. And she's from the US.

Again, I am glad I have found your site and the dangers that could/would present themselves to me. Even though he said that he would keep people away from me, trying to push me to convert, I know better. At the most, we can be friends and that is it. There are too many things that tell me that I shouldn't be with this man. 

Sincerely, Gerry


 

Editor MA Khan replies: 

Dear Gerry, 

Thank you for sending your email describing your encounter with this Muslim man. We hope that you have made an informed choice regarding this case. 

First, let me tell you that there are some non-practicing liberal Muslims, who are worth giving a try if you are looking for love or a relationship. However, I am particularly apprehensive of Muslims who follows Islamic rituals to any degree. Majority of my highly educated and bright Muslim friends, whom I have met along the way, used to pray only on Fridays and do fasting during Ramadan. Yet, none of these not-so-pious Muslims were liberal enough to think of having a wife from non-Muslim background who could keep her own religion.

Even the most liberal ones among them would require their wives to become symbolically Muslim, although they could choose not to practice Islam. And of course, the children will have to be raised as Muslims. There cannot be any negotiation on that. 

I have learned of many cases in which Muslims have duped well-meaning gullible Western women into marrying them on the promise that they could retain and practice their own religion. However, once the marriage has taken place, they suddenly become changed persons. Whether for family, peer and social pressure or out of their own deceptive ploy ― they, all-on-a-sudden, turn cold from a warn person and start talking about religion in one way or another. The poor woman either has to bear with it and convert or break up the marriage with bitter experience.

In another stance, I have seen one of my own close friend, nominally religious, who duped a non-Muslim girl, promising that she will need not change her religion when they get married. The nice girl fell into his trap and maintained the relationship for 3 years. Now the guy wants to get married and ask the girl to become Muslim, raising the excuse of family pressure. The girl did not agree. Soon afterwards, the guy went on visit to his home country and came back with a wife to the shock of his ex-girlfriend. The girl could not just believe that someone can just get married like that. But this is not exception but quite normal for Muslims.

I also get letters from many non-Muslim women who have fallen in love with Muslim men. One girl wrote to me that after some time, the man started asking her to be more decent their in her dresses, not to keep company like before with her previous male friends, particularly if they are gays. Some of them are even asked to keep away from the lesbian girl-friends. Some of them are asked to start reading about Islam, behave in Islamic way and eventually convert to Islam. These are various ploys Muslims employ while they try to dupe innocent Western non-Muslim women into their trap for converting them to Islam. 

My word to all non-Muslim women, who are vulnerable to fall prey to such traps, is that, in real Islam, a woman is not a free and independent human entity. She is a mere thing or possession of men. She cannot have her independent life and freedom to live her life as she wishes. A woman is the property of her husband, sons or father. She cannot go out unattended by a male relative―her husband, sons or father. Although there are Muslims of different varieties, but very few of them can conceive a truly independent life for their spouses. 

Being a nontheist and freethinker, I personally believe that a human being at all times must value her/his independent human self. When he or she surrenders that to another person unconditionally and in one-sided fashion, he/she loses her humanness. He/she becomes a “mere thing” ― a piece of property or a slave to be a handled by her/his owner as the latter wishes. Surrendering one’s own independent human identity to another human being is a gross indignity to the human race ― a blot to humanity. 

Non-Muslim women, contemplating a relationship with a Muslim man, should keep in mind that you should be loved for what you are and what you have been over the years. You should not be loved for what the man wants you to be in the future. If the man loves what he wants you to be, he does not love the person―the human self―you are. Instead, he loves the thing he transforms you into. You become the object of his imagination, his slave, his piece of property. You have no choice of your own. You become a slave of his fantasy, his imagination, his passion. You are there only to fulfill his every desire and having none of your own.


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MA Khan is the editor of islam-watch.org website.


Name:   
Comment:

Comments Notes: Keep comments short. Our system cannot separate paragraphs. Comments must be relevant to the topic of the article. We did not regulate the comments but if irrelevant comments, materials, adds of other websites etc. are being uploaded, we will have to regulate the comments and even ban the IP addresses of such nuisance posters.


Name: i saved many hindu girls from muslim men ---al ham dull ill aaahhhhh
Date: Friday December 28, 2007
Time: 23:05:30 -0700

Comment

i am regular visitor to yr site and faithfreedom site. i hv given the 2 site details to over 10000 people in kafir pagan india. and each one is going on spreading the message of truth. many people thank me,but i say no thank almighty god-mother nature who made such good men who made the sites. recently a girl wanted to marry a muslim man and someone who knows me told me to talk to her,and i just told her to read the 2 sites and then confront the mulla-ass-kisser guy. guess what,in 1 day their relationship broke,bcoz even though he was so called liebral,he deeply believed in koarn,etc....and finally she saw the light. islamwatch and faithfreedom r the twin beacons of light in the dark world of politically correct islam ass kissers. may the 2 sites destroy islam and world peace prevail. by the way also also gave many people christian sites and many christians hv converted to humanit,and also many muslims who saw yr site hv converted to humanity. al ham dull ill aahhhhh


Name: DH
Date: Saturday December 29, 2007
Time: 05:07:44 -0700

Comment

Well done warning of the "liberal" Muslims. Where they are not feigning their "liberalness" they are likely to be ignorant of many details of their faith and develop full-blown Islam when their Islamic shortcomings are pointed out to them. Even if that does not happen they will inculcate their children with a core "Muslim" identity which can at any time likewise develop into full-blown Islam.


Name: No Sharia
Date: Saturday December 29, 2007
Time: 06:06:01 -0700

Comment

This article treats an extremely important subject. The attempts by muslim men to marry christian or western women are (subjectively or objectively) a part of their demographic strategy. We must find a way to let western or - globally - all non-muslim women find out the truth of their lovers before they are married. After marriage there seems to be a common behavior by most moslem men to convert their wifes and rob them of their spiritual, idelological and physical freedom by using cunning and cruel methods. Innumerable examples of this exist and innumerable women have been trapped in awful mafrriages. One method we shall use: Somebody should formulate all the questions - and explain the reasons for them - that a woman should ask her possible spouse in order to pin down his real attitude regarding her future freedom regarding religion and her personal freedom. Even if he lies about his opinion regarding some issues it is difficult for him to lie about all. And by this the woman is warned and (if she, because of lies, is duped into a marriage where the husband later starts to make her into what in reality is a slave)she can after marriage rapidly understand that she is duped. Few things are more important than to formulate and spread the questions that a non-muslim woman shall ask her muslim boyfriend and possible future husband. Regards, No Sharia


Name: and many more
Date: Saturday December 29, 2007
Time: 15:34:03 -0700

Comment

Allah told mohamed if he will order anyone to prostrate for other than allah, it will be the woman for her husband. women has no right to call, visit her own family even if her parents are sick without permission from husband. if a wife go to work husbands can ask for her salary because this is their own time wasted in work. he has the right to marry up to 4 wives concurrently. you can,t ask for divorce it is men right only while he can divorce at any time even by sms.


Name:
Date: Saturday December 29, 2007
Time: 19:28:54 -0700

Comment

Muslims anywhere in the world are not trustworthy. Treat them as well they treat the pigs


Name: StephenDvd
Date: Saturday December 29, 2007
Time: 21:53:06 -0700

Comment

Here is a real life example: I met a woman once who had married a Palestinian Moslem years earlier. She said she had been born/raised Christian but was non-practicing. She met the young Moslem man in college, and he was very secular and non-religious. They had a great time together and, since both were not practicing their religions, they thought they had a lot in common and did not conflict in any way -- while they were single and living in the U.S. However, once they got serious and decided to get married, he suddenly started taking greater interest in his religion. They moved back home with his parents, and she was suddenly forced to live like a Moslem woman. She was not allowed to travel unescorted outside of the home, she was forced to wear Muslem dress, and her husband began to abuse her. This culminated with her being forced to convert to Islam. Luckily for her, they did not have any children, and she woke up soon enough to return to the U.S. and divorce him. But this is just one of many stories I have heard regarding the horrors of infidels marrying Moslem women.


Name: Khadri
Date: Monday December 31, 2007
Time: 13:23:47 -0700

Comment

Mr Khan: You wrote " there are some non-practicing liberal Muslims, who are worth giving a try if you are looking for love or a relationship". I disagree with you. If a non practicing liberal muslim believes quran to be divine and Mo to be a prophet , he is a potential danger whether he prays or not.These guys are infected with islam, but the infection is dormant. However under the right condition they have the potential of developing full blown islam complete with hatred of kuffar and love for sharia. I would advise non muslim girls not to touch a believeing muslim with a 10 foot pole. A good advise is "the only safe muslim is an ex-muslim"


Name: Tony
Date: Monday December 31, 2007
Time: 16:16:25 -0700

Comment

Dear Gerry our daughter married a nice Turk.... but he soon showed his real colours, once he had got his ticket to England..... beware! the moslem male honey-trap is so cunning http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lKbSoOfJCCY


Name: Good Writing.
Date: Tuesday January 01, 2008
Time: 19:48:39 -0700

Comment

I am so thankful for the internet as a means to educate the masses. It is mainly on the internet where the truth of islam is exposed. Also, there is a movie out there made by Hollywood before they got into PCism; its called "Not Without My Daughter". Stars Sally Fields who fell in with a muslim MD and ended up in Iraq. She went through hell. Watch it everyone and keep a copy of it for future women that you bump into who are messing around with a muslim.


Name: Godot
Date: Wednesday January 02, 2008
Time: 12:55:13 -0700

Comment

This site, I thought, was meant to expose Islam and not to be dating/matching advisory board. Marriage is a personal choice and people are responsible of their decisions. What are we talking about next? The harms and ills of Islamic cuisine?


Name: MA Khan
Date: Wednesday January 02, 2008
Time: 20:16:23 -0700

Comment

We are as much interested in Islam as its influence on the behavior of Muslims. One of the biggest trump-card Muslims use is that "Islam is the fastest growing religion." This is largely true especially in Western countries, where Muslims dupe the well-meaning and unsuspecting infidel women into the trap of Islam. Overwhelming number of conversions of Westerners, mostly women, occurs through marriage. We are only talking about the Islamic mindset and how they apply it under specific circumstances, such as this. We are telling the truth. We are not forcing anybody from making their personal choice. Making that accusation against us is thoughtless. Our message can only help them make an informed choice.


Name: Tony
Date: Thursday January 03, 2008
Time: 15:32:29 -0700

Comment

be warned dear lady - islamics put on the goody-goody face to get their woman, and then the true colours of islam come out... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKbSoOfJCCY


Name: irfan
Date: Friday January 04, 2008
Time: 06:20:50 -0700

Comment

sorry, sir wat u have said may be correct for some one ,but not for all.here before marraige a girl or boy should be clear that his wife or her housband is faithful or not. here if any one really wants to covert into muslim get afraid with this answer.


Name:
Date: Friday January 04, 2008
Time: 19:21:37 -0700

Comment

in my case, I thank you for saving me from going mad from thinking why I was treated like that when I sadly already married a muslim.


Name: G
Date: Tuesday January 08, 2008
Time: 08:38:18 -0700

Comment

Excellent points MA Khan. I'm live in the Middle East and know these things well. Sadly, many westerners are easily fooled into those traps. You cannot play with them by your rules, they wont respect them. Infidel American Woman, if the guy has an Arabic sounding name then be on your guard, that is all I have to say.


Name: to Godot
Date: Wednesday January 09, 2008
Time: 08:29:23 -0700

Comment

If you reread what Gerry wrote, it's not about a dating site, but the fact that she met a arab muslim man on a dating website and the fact that she did her "homework" before getting too involved.


Name: to irfan
Date: Wednesday January 09, 2008
Time: 08:32:32 -0700

Comment

As far as I can see, he was presenting himself as a "moderate" muslim, but it has shown too many times on this site that even "moderate" muslims can do a 180. Unless he acknowleges the dark side of his religion, she wasn't going to have a relationship with him.


 
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