Islamic Cell Phone and the Next Islamic Invention
28 Sep, 2007
- Here is a list of fifty items---I believe, sooner or later, will be claimed by the Islamists as their own inventions. The list is not itemized on the basis of subject/product---it is a random list---I listed them as they came to my mind. Peruse the list and add more to make it a century.
Next Islamic Inventions:
- Islamic Toilet (no flushing---equipped with stone disposal container---Hadis style)
- Islamic Toilet Paper (made from Zaqqum leaves---Muhammad’s hated tree)
- Islamic Tampon (with musk fragrance---as per the instruction of Muhammad and practiced by Bibi Aisha—Hadis style, of course)
- Islamic Bra (to match Hijab and Burqa)
- Islamic Lipstick (OOPS! it may be Haram if worn openly---can be worn while inside a Burqa: made from camel’s fat---absolutely Halal)
- Islamic Windows XP (computer boots with the sirens of Qur’an and Azan)
- Islamic Pentium 4 (the processor is encoded with electronic Jihadists to automatically destroy anti-Islamic messages/articles)
- Islamic CD and DVD (they are made from Lebanese bread ingredients---absolutely Halal stuff)
- Islamic TV (only channels available are Islamic channels; no woman is shown, neither their voices are heard)
- Islamic Radio (receives only Islamic broadcasts; automatically rejects female voices on the air)
- Islamic Shoe (made from pure Halal skin---camel’s skin)
- Islamic Battery (no acid is used; made from Zam-Zam water---no Haram stuff is added)
- Islamic Camera (takes pictures of trees and plants only---automatically disables shutter when photographing human or animals)
- Islamic Earthquake (Allah tests His Mumins in Iran and Turkey --Allah’s Qudrat---Qur’anic style, no doubt)
- Islamic Geology (to counter the modern theory of Plate Tectonics and Continental Drift with the Islamic theory of Qur’anic Mountain Pegs)
- Islamic Physics (to replace the concept of rational and logical approach to the understanding of natural Laws with the Islamic concept of Blind faith and Compulsion)
- Islamic Chemistry (after all, the Muslims were the greatest Chemists!)
- Islamic Gravity (based on Isra and Miraj: a Buraq, half-angel, half-horse; could defy gravity; refutes infidel’s concept Gravitational laws)
- Islamic Theory of Relativity (time-dilation--Islamic style based on Muhammad’s ascent to Allah and his journey to heavens)
- Islamic Electricity (don’t laugh! the Pakistani Islamists are sure of harnessing electricity from the Jinns!)
- Islamic Flood (the recent deluge in Bangladesh is Allah’s punishment—Noah style)
- Islamic Psychiatry (no joke! one Bangladeshi Islamic Psychiatrist has developed Psychotherapy---a la Qur’an)
- Islamic Psychology (the Egyptian Islamic Psychologists are working on this new branch of metaphysics---Qur’anic style, of course)
- Islamic Surgery (surgery performed by Burqa/Hijab-clad Muslimah surgeons; alternatively, a Muslim male surgeon performs surgery using long butcher’s knives swords and beheading axe used by the Jihadists without touching the sensitive flesh) of Burqa/Hijab-clad Muslimah)
- Islamic Mouse (automatically retrieves Sahih Ahadith at a click)
- Islamic Keyboard (keys are programmed to invoke Qur’anic verses)
- Islamic Computer Monitor (moving display of Qur’anic verses at the task bar---intermittent high resolution images of Islamic barbarism reminds the user of his duty to join in the Jihad and to slaughter infidels)
- Islamic Science Monitor (the Christians have their own version--- why not the Muslims?)
- Islamic Secularism (based on verse 2:256, although it means the only religion acceptable to Allah is Islam, of course)
- Islamic Atheism (don’t laugh! Allah does not exist in physical form---no need to turn hither and thither to see him)
- Islamic Microscope (shows Jinns and Devils swimming in your blood-stream)
- Islamic Oven/Microwave Oven (works by harnessing the heat of Islamic Hell and the electricity generated from the Jinns)
- Islamic Refrigerator (uses as refrigerant 100% Halal stuff-- the cool water of Jannah and not the Freon gas invented by the infidels)
- Islamic Toothbrush (not so new: the latest model incorporates Miswak fibres—Muhammad’s favourite dental cleaner, thus doing away with nylon fibre---an infidel invention and a Haram ingredient)
- Islamic Toothpaste (as above---uses Miswak paste and Zaitun leaves, Muhammad’s favourite)
- Islamic Soap (it is already in market: the new ingredient is the incorporation of dry clay/dust---so that Tayammum can be performed while in journey or when no water is available nearby---a two-in-one stuff)
- Islamic Hard Disk (this device uses the incredible memory of the Hafizs’—the Qur’an memorisers to provide limitless memory at your disposal)
- Islamic Mountains (mountains are stabilizers---lest the earth fly away---absolute Qur’anic stuff: this concept demolishes the infidel’s discovery of the theories of Plate Tectonic and Continental Drift, the foundation of modern geology)
- Islamic Aircraft (shaped in the form of Buraq that Muhammad boarded to journey in space---conforms absolutely to Hadis standards)
- Islamic Car (camel shaped---runs on desert sand: for use when Islamic oil wells run dry)
- Islamic X-Ray (detects the body parts affected by major sins specified by the Qur’an)
- Islamic Ultrasound (scans body-parts and detects the Islamic crimes, such as theft, illicit sex….,.body parts that are to be amputated and the precise location of brain part that can be demolished by stoning with the maximum pain; in case of pregnancy this Islamic device automatically detects if the foetus is the result of illicit sex or not; operates with male operators only---Pakistan style)
- Islamic Paediatrics (specialises in the slaughter of infant and children in Islamic merciful manner)
- Islamic Gynaecology (male specialist with blind-fold examines a Muslimah’s private organs using a sharp pencil and thin small metal rods; the Muslimah must be covered in Burqa. A security officer must be present. This method is already in practice in certain Islamic states of Malaysia )
- Islamic Missiles ( Pakistan already has them---the latest model targets child-care centres, schools and hospitals of the infidels)
- Islamic Telephone (a cousin of Islamic Cell Phone---this version replaces the ringing tone with the bursts of ‘Allahu Akbar,’ ‘Allahu Akbar’)
- Islamic DNA (uses lashing to imprint permanent marks on a person’s buttock and back; helps Allah to identify the perpetrators of anti-Islamic writings and the Islam bashers)
- Islamic Satellite (launched from Mecca , orbits Allahs throne, monitors and reports to Allah all activities of infidels)
- Islamic Penicillin (made from camel’s urine: cures all infectious diseases---Hadis style)
- Islamic Eye-Ointment (made from Muhammad’s saliva---cures all eye ailments)
Are those listed Islamic Inventions hilarious? many of them are, for sure. Complete the century by adding further Islamic stuff. The secret? simply add the prefix ‘Islamic’ to any new invention by the infidels----and lo! you have the Islamic version of it.
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Abul Kasem is an Bengali ex-Muslim and academic. He has contributed in Leaving Islam - Apostates Speak Out and Beyond Jihad - Critical Voices from Inside. He has also written extensively on Islam in various websites and is the author of five e-Books: A Complete Guide to Allah, Root of Terrorism ala Islamic Style, Sex and Sexuality in Islam, Who Authored the Quran? and Women in Islam. Mr. Kasem leaves in Sydney, Australia. He can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Date: Friday September 28, 2007
Time: 02:11:42 -0700
40 years ago I worked with an educated Syrian Muslim with several degrees from French universities.In spite of his education he believed all the major inventions had really been invented by Muslims and their research had been stolen from under their noses by people like Marconi, Bell, Edison etc.He even claimed that Sheakspeare was a Muslim who was really called Shaykh Sepir. Naturally I disputed his claims, so one day he brought to work a thick book, in Arabic of course,where he had got his ideas.Nothing I said could convince him that he was wrong. According to him and his book, the infidels had never invented anything worthwhile.
Date: Friday September 28, 2007
Time: 08:33:27 -0700
The only thing that Islam has invented is how to tell a lie.
Date: Friday September 28, 2007
Time: 09:52:33 -0700
Casper:Actually I run into many educated muslims in this country who believe exactly the same. Just two weeks back I ran into a muslim engineer in New Jersey who believed the same. Actually the divide is clear. Most very religious practising muslims believe in anti american conspiracy theories and also that infidels stole muslim ideas for most inventions. They support this belief saying that since all knowledge is in Quran, it is natural that quran reading muslims have to be the first ones to come up with the new ideas.
Date: Sunday September 30, 2007
Time: 01:05:32 -0700
Islam wants to take credit for all inventions, scientific advance, technological marvels, infact all the goodies of the world, supposed to have already been there in the barbaric quran! The muslims are a bunch of utterly brazen, shameless crooks like their murderous, rapacious, plundering and maraudering bedouin ancestors, willing to rob lock,stock and barrel of others' wealth without a conscience! You can't expect anything better from these uncivilized and barbaric people!!!
Name: Muslims and inventions
Date: Monday October 01, 2007
Time: 04:33:02 -0700
Why are you all upset with Muslims bragging about their great ancient civilizations? I mean this issue might be controversial but maybe they the Muslims have to feel good about their past since they do not have new inventions in our time, except the Muslim brilliant minds escaping to the West because of government corruption. We should not be upset with them when they talk so proudly about their past, we should condolence them instead. Isn’t better than Muslims investing and competing with the west and then they will have both the ideology and the technology. Israel will then for sure disappear from the map.
Name: Sample of Ancient Muslim Contributions - for you to get educated -
Date: Monday October 01, 2007
Time: 04:42:35 -0700
Abu Ali al-Husayn Ibn Abdullah Ibn Sina was born in Bukhara in 980. Sometimes known in the West by the Latin name, Avicenna, this Persian physician became the most famous and influential of all the Islamic philosopher-scientists. He earned royal favour for treating the Kings of Bukhara and Hamadan for ailments other physicians could neither diagnose nor cure. His grave is still maintained in Hamadan, where he died in 1037. Though trained as a physician, Ibn Sina made important contributions to philosophy, mathematics, chemistry, and astronomy. His philosophical encyclopedia, Kitab al-Shifa ("Book of Healing") brought Aristotelian and Platonian philosophy together with Islamic theology in dividing the field of knowledge into theoretical knowledge (physics, mathematics, and metaphysics) and practical knowledge (ethics, economics, and politics). His most enduring legacy, however, was in the field of medicine. His most famous book, Al-Qanun fi al-Tibb ("The Canon of Medicine") is still one of the most important medical books ever written, and served as the medical authority throughout Europe for 600 years. Among the Canon's contributions to modern medicine was the recognition that tuberculosis is contagious; diseases can spread through water and soil; and a person's emotional health influences his or her physical health. Ibn Sina was also the first physician to describe meningitis, parts of the eye, and the heart valves, and he found that nerves were responsible for perceived muscle pain. He also contributed to advancements in anatomy, gynecology, and pediatrics. The Canon was translated into Latin in the 12th century, and quickly became the predominant textbook used in European medical schools until the 17th century. It is still used today in Islamic medical schools in Pakistan and India. No other medical book has remained so highly acclaimed for such a long period of time. When the Arabic original was published in Rome in 1593, it became one of the first Arabic books to be produced on the new invention of the printing press. Today, Ibn Sina's portrait hangs in the main hall of the Faculty of Medicine at the University of Paris.
Name: Alamgir Hussain ---> Ibn Sina's contribution
Date: Monday October 01, 2007
Time: 17:26:12 -0700
Ibn Sina also believe that reason and philosophy are greater than revelation (Quran) and urged to bring the Quranic messages in conformity with reason. Indeed, two greatest Muslim scholars -- Ibn Sina and al-Farabi -- both considered writings of great philosophers of ancient Greece, particularly of Aristotle, as the revealed truth, according to Aligarh Prof Umaruddin's 'The Ethical Philosophy of al-Ghazzali'.
Name: Two more inventions of Islam to add to your list
Date: Saturday July 05, 2008
Time: 06:13:28 -0700
You forgot to mention other important inventions of Islam. (1) MLM = Multi Level Marketing. In MLM one crook catches hold of an idiot with some money and brain-washes him by giving great calculations of profit only if he could catch more and more idiots and make sell them the plan, further down the line. One who enters into MLM trick, ever remain engaged into making more and more customers. Same thing with Islam. The only difference is that in MLM business atleast everybody is getting something. But in Islam which promises Jannat and Houries after death, will never be realized. (2) Today's advertizers say : Sex sells. In fact this advertizement theory was invented by Islam. To join Islam, fools are still being told that they will get 72 houries to fornicate, but only if they kill kafirs.
Date: Monday August 11, 2008
Time: 03:25:34 -0700
I know you were just trying to be sarcastic, but oddly enough, a lot of the stuff you listed were in fact either invented by Muslims or influenced by them in some way... 1. Toilet (the flush mechanism was invented by Al-Jazari in 1206). 5. Lipstick (the solid lipstick was invented by Abulcasis in 1000). 6. Windows XP (the encryption used in all operating systems originates from Alkindus in the 9th century). 9. TV (the first image projector was invented by Alhazen in 1021). 13. Camera (the first image-projecting camera obscura was invented by Alhazen in 1021). 14. Earthquake (Avicenna gave the first accurate description of an earthquake in 1027). 15. Geology (the law of superposition of strata and the thoeries of uniformitarianism and geologic time scales originated from Avicenna in 1027, and the concept of continental drift dates back to Biruni in the 11th century). 16. Physics (the founder of experimental physics was Alhazen in 1021). 17. Chemistry (The 8th-century chemist Jabir/Geber is considered the father of chemistry). 18. Gravity (Muhammad ibn Musa hypothesized that gravity is due to attraction between masses in the 9th century, and Al-Khazini hypothesized that gravity varies depending on distance in 1121). 19. Relativity (the concept of motion being relative was proposed by Abu'l-Barakat al-Baghdadi in the 12th century). 20. Electricity (Abbas ibn Firnas produced artificial thunder and lightning in his laboratory in the 9th century). 21. Flood (Avicenna accurately described the role of floods in the formation of mountains in 1027). 22. Psychiatry (The first psychiatric hospital was built in Baghdad in the 8th century). 23. Psychology (Experimental psychology was founded by Alhazen in 1021). 24. Surgery (the father of modern surgery was Abulcasis in 1000). 27. Monitor (the first image projector was invented by Alhazen in 1021). 29. Secularism (The 12th-century philosopher Averroes is considered the founding father of secular thought in Western Europe). 31. Microscope (the magnifying glass was invented by Alhazen in 1021). 32. Oven/Microwave Oven (the first steam-powered cooking device was invented by Taqi al-Din in 1551). 33. Refrigerator (the thermodynamic concept of heat being caused by motion originates from Abd Allah Baydawi in the 13th century). 34. Toothbrush (the Miswak is still just as effective as modern toothbrushes). 35. Toothpaste (Ziryab invented a toothpaste that was both functional and pleasant to taste in the 9th century). 36. Soap (all modern soaps are Islamic soaps, which were invented by Muslim chemists in the 10th century). 38. Mountains (the formation of mountains was first accurately described by Avicenna in 1027 and the concept of continental drift dates back to Biruni in the 11th century). 39. Aircraft (the first artificially-powered aircraft was the gunpowder-powered rocket aircraft invented by Lagari Hasan Celebi in 1633). 40. Car (the crankshaft & connecting rod mechanism and reciprocating piston pump used in the interntal combustion engine were invented by Al-Jazari in 1206, while the steam turbine and six-cylinder pump were invented by Taqi al-Din in 1551). 43. Paediatrics (Al-Tabari is regarded as a pioneer of child development in the 9th century, his student Rhazes is considered the father of pediatrics in the 10th century, and Avicenna also contributed to paediatrics in 1025). 44. Gynaecology (female surgeons were employed to deal with gynaecology, but male surgeons were allowed by medieval Islamic jurists if the condition was critical). 45. Missiles (the first iron-cased and metal-cylinder rocket missiles were invented by Tipu Sultan and Hyder Ali in the 1780s). 48. Satellite (the first space docks and space stations were launched by Kerim Kerimov in 1967 and 1971 respectively). 49. Penicillin (Ibn Khatima hypothesized the existence of bacteria in the 14th century). 50. Islamic Eye-Ointment (the first topical ointment was invented by Abulcasis in 1000).