Islam Under Scrutiny by Ex-Muslims

Health, Suckling for Community Relations and Beating Women Lightly in Islam

Did you ever wonder why those infidels are too fat, and all good Muslims are too thin? Well, wonder no more. Here is your answer:
A Kafir eats too much. A Muslim...just a little. The reason those infidels eat too much is because, they have seven intestines to eat with. A good Muslim uses only one!! Don't believe, enlighten yourself by wisdom of Muhammad, the wisest man ever:

Narrated Nafi':

Ibn 'Umar never used to take his meal unless a poor man was called to eat with him. One day I brought a poor man to eat with him, the man ate too much, whereupon Ibn 'Umar said, "O Nafi'! Don't let this man enter my house, for I heard the Prophet saying, "A believer eats in one intestine (is satisfied with a little food), and a kafir (unbeliever) eats in seven intestines much food."

Well, what happens if a “supposedly” good Muslim starts eating too much? The answer is simple; he became “border-line” infidel, commonly known as “hypocrite”:

Bukhari: Volume 7, Book 65, Number 306:

Narrated Ibn 'Umar:

Allah's Apostle said, "A believer eats in one intestine (is satisfied with a little food), and a kafir (unbeliever) or a hypocrite eats in seven intestines (eats too much)."

What happens when an infidel embraces the true religion, Islam?

Well, the answer is simple. He starts eating good and healthy, loses weight, and eats less (its really like joining the YMCA) just like any other good Muslim out there:

Bukhari: Volume 7, Book 65, Number 309:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

A man used to eat much, but when he embraced Islam, he started eating less. That was mentioned to the Prophet who then said, "A believer eats in one intestine (is satisfied with a little food) and a Kafir eats in seven intestines (eats much).

Can a Muslim eat while sitting in any position he/she wants?

Well, it may not be “Haram” but it certainly is “Makrooh” to lean while eating. A good Muslim eats while sitting straight. No questions asked.

Narrated Abu Juhaifa:

Allah's Apostle said, "I do not take my meals while leaning (against something).

If you are from Pakistan, and feel like eating Chinese food tonight, is this acceptable in Islam?

Again, this may not be “Haram”, but is certainly “Makrooh”. The holy Prophet himself was not too anxious to try foreign foods. So, if we want to emulate his holiness, do you think we should even think about eating Chinese food tonight?

Narrated Khalid bin Al-Walid:

"A roasted mastigure was brought to the Prophet who stretched his hand towards it to eat it. But it was said to him, "It is a mastigure." So he withdrew his hand. Khalid asked, "Is it unlawful to eat?" the Prophet said, "No, but it is not found in the land of my people and that is why I do not like eating it." So Khalid started eating (it) while Allah's Apostle was looking at him. An-Nadr said: 'Al-Khazira' (is prepared) from bran while 'Al-Harira' is prepared from milk.

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How about sex!!

In fact, Islam has many good thoughts about sex.

Suckling an unrelated adult is good for the sake of “community relations”!! (in slang: Boobs are just good any time!!!)

Ibn Abu Mulaika reported that al-Qasim b. Muhammad b. Abu Bakr had narrated to him that 'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that Sahla bint Suhail b. 'Amr came to Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) and said: Messenger of Allah, Salim (the freed slave of Abu Hudhaifa) is living with us in our house, and he has attained (puberty) as men attain it and has acquired knowledge (of the sex problems) as men acquire, whereupon he said: Suckle him so that he may become unlawful (in regard to marriage) for you He (Ibn Abu Mulaika) said: I refrained from (narrating this hadith) for a year or so on account of fear. I then met al-Qasim and said to him: You narrated to me a hadith which I did not narrate (to anyone) afterwards. He said: What is that? I informed him, whereupon he said: Narrate it on my authority that 'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) had narrated that to me.

If you think the above hadith is not Sahih, here it is from the horse’s mouth

Dawud: Book 008, Number 3427:

Umm Salama said to 'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her): A young boy who is at the threshold of puberty comes to you. I, however, do not like that he should come to me, whereupon 'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) said: Don't you see in Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) a model for you? She also said: The wife of Abu Hudhaifa said: Messenger of Allah, Salim comes to me and now he is a (grown-up) person, and there is something that (rankles) in the mind of Abu Hudhaifa about him, whereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Suckle him (so that he may become your foster-child), and thus he may be able to come to you (freely).

And who said Islam is against appreciating a good breast?

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Beating women lightly (lovingly?) with a tooth brush?

So says the apologists!! The Prophet thought otherwise.

Dawud: Book 11, Number 2126:

Narrated Basrah:

A man from the Ansar called Basrah said: I married a virgin woman in her veil. When I entered upon her, I found her pregnant. (I mentioned this to the Prophet). The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: She will get the dower, for you made her vagina lawful for you. The child will be your slave. When she has begotten (a child), flog her (according to the version of al-Hasan). The version of Ibn Abus Sari has: You people, flog her, or said: inflict hard punishment on him.

If you don’t treat women right, you better take your Chiropractic with you when go to meet Allah:

Dawud: Book 11, Number 2128:

Narrated AbuHurayrah:

The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.

[This article is a satire]

 

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Ibn Kamuna also contributes at faithfreedom.org. He can be contacted at [email protected].


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Comments Notes: Keep comments short. Our system cannot separate paragraphs. Comments must be relevant to the topic of the article. We did not regulate the comments but if irrelevant comments, materials, adds of other websites etc. are being uploaded, we will have to regulate and even ban the IP addresses of such nuisance posters.


Name: Philip Saenz
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 21:31:39 -0500

Comment

The Muslim Muzzammil Hassan 44 did more than beat his wife, Aasiya Z. Hassan 37, lightly. Muzzammil cut off Aasiya's head less than 30 hours ago here in the U.S.A. Muzzammil founded Bridges TV in hopes that it would help portray Muslims in a more positive light. Needless to say, Muzzammil was a dismal failure. I'm glad it happened in our country and not in a Muslim country. In a Muslim country, Muzzammil would probably get away with murder simply by stating that some male pervert made a pass on his wife. In my state, Muzzammil would get the death penalty. In the state where this happened, Muzzammil will probably get life in the penitentiary. I suggest that Muslims should never beat their wives, not even lightly.


Name: GoodNewsForIslam
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 22:56:53 -0500

Comment

Thanks! Ibn Kammuna for one more wonderful Article.


Name: On a sad note/Ibn Kammuna
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 23:23:30 -0500

Comment

I am glad people enjoy a satire article like this.On a sad note though, few hours ago I read the news that brother Philip is talking about. I don't know. I saw their pictures together. She, the victim, looked like a beautiful angel. Such kindness of heart that one can see through her. It just broke my heart to read about this crime in NY of all places. And, beheading? What barbarity, and what a criminal mentality Islam produces. The thugs of the 21st century, known as Muslim brothers, as Jihadis, as Ikhwan, as Jama'at Islamiyah,..etc, want to take us back to the stone age in the desert of Arabia, where their bastard leader was born and practiced his genocidal mentality. Those Muslims want to take humanity on a sinking ship to the depths of the ocean of Evils, and to the depths of the Valley of Death. We, Humans, will never submit to such barbarity, no matter the sacrifice. We will prevail. The almighty is on our side. The universe is on our side. All things human that are beautiful on our side. Victory is at hand. Victory is in sight. Peace to all my brothers and sisters.


Name: IK
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 23:30:16 -0500

Comment

Here is the link to the crime: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,493645,00.html


Name: ibn u r so funny
Date: Tuesday February 17, 2009
Time: 03:09:02 -0500

Comment

ibn u r so funny,my tummy aches with the laughter.


 
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