Rebirth for me: Story of Leaving Islam of a Saudi Muslim
09 Dec, 2006
I am lucky to be a Saudi born to relatively liberal and affluent parents, though they are still Muslims, just not the fanatical kind. I was educated in the USA which is where I had my first exposure to other faiths and began to first have my reservations about Islam, especially when I compared the violent, warrior life of Mohammed, with his sexual lusting compared to the piety and decency of Jesus Christ (whether or not the tales be true, I refer merely to what is written of Jesus). I had asked many of my questions to my imam in Boston who would reproach me for daring to question the teachings of the Koran. Mohammed could have sex with whomever he wanted because he was Mohammed. The murder of the Jews of Arabia was just because Mohammed said so. Mohammed saved us from idol worship so why they hell do we walk around a black stone dressed in beach towels? None of the questions was he able to answer, nor has anybody else since.
I was leaning away from the faith but the decisive moment for me came on 9/11. As a Saudi citizen, I was scared to the core. I was waiting for the angry mob to kick down my door and tear me to pieces. My fear was quite rational coming from a Muslim perspective. If Mecca or Madina was ever attacked by an American then I’m sure this fate would befall westerners living in Saudi Arabia . The control, sensibility and ‘christian’ decency (though I prefer to call it human decency) exhibited by the American people was moving. I was never threatened or harmed. My American friends never second-guessed my profound disgust with the actions of my compatriots. I realized that this level of humanism and compassion is positively impossible under Islam and that I affectively was no longer a Muslim. My life since then has been wonderful. I’ve opened my mind to so many ideologies and philosophies, almost all I can say being infinitely more humanistic and logical than Islam.
Do I feel stupid for having worshipped this violent pedophile for so long?
Yes, I do, but I console myself with the fact that it wasn’t my fault and that I have had the inner strength to leave his grasp. I moved back to Saudi Arabia shortly thereafter and my father wondered why I no longer prayed or accompanied him to mosque? Had America made me godless? No, I told him. America had made me aware and there is more god and spirituality and goodness in my heart than ever before. He was initially saddened by my renunciation and cried (I must here point out that my wonderful father is a great man, as most Saudi fathers would have disowned their children and even had them imprisoned and tortured for such an act) but he thought I would come back to the flock. I never did and 3 years have passed since I broke the news to him. I have since moved to Dubai where I can live freely and decently away from the grasp of Wahhabi Islam (though Dubai still has a long way to go) and my father and I have never since spoken of my apostasy.
That was until 2 weeks ago when I came back to Saudi Arabia to visit my family. My father called me to his room and with a sad look on his face apologized to me profusely. “For what” I asked him. “For questioning you and for praying that you would come back to Islam” he told me. In the conversation that transpired he told me how upon his retirement he began reading the Koran daily and other religious books of Islam. What he read horrified him and in time he too renounced Islam. He has found solace in the teachings of Christ who he believes is a true prophet, unlike Mohammed. He wants me to take Christ as my savior but I told him that for now I’m quite ok on my own. We’ve found a great common ground in apostasy and I can say that both our lives have changed for the better.
To Muslims still trapped, I know that insulting the faith may only drive you closer to it so I will only ask you one thing. Read! Read the Koran, read its teachings, read about Mohammed’s pederasty and warring and decide that as a rational, 21st century human being, knowing all that we know, that this man is really the prophet of god and the path to paradise. I think you’ll come to the same conclusion that I did."
Courtesy: Faith Freedom International